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I May Have Seen the Worst Show Ever!

My apologies that this has in the last couple of posts turned into a TV blog rather than a parenting blog. And, to be honest, my daughter is a lot more fascinating than the TV show I’m about to blast. But trust me when I tell you that you don’t want to hear about how cute it was to listen to her count to twenty in the 99 cents store and how funny it was to watch her lead a game of Yell and Jump Crazily at the library practically getting us 86’d by the bitchiest librarian I’ve seen since elementary school. It’s much more fun to rag on my other favorite hobby, laying comatose in front of the TV watching the worst shows that networks can dream up. Last night was a doozy – The Ex Wives Club. You need to only click on the website to see how insane this show is but I will describe it for you because I watched an entire episode last night which is 59 minutes more than you should ever watch. I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that this show is a bigger train wreck than Age of Love.

The Ex Wives Club is hosted by three famous ex wives who are supposed to help a couple of non famous run of the mill losers get their shit together after being dumped. Which brings up the first roadblock to anyone actually enjoying this show: it’s hosted by Shar Jackson, Angie Everheart and Marla Maples. Earth to ABC! Shar fucking Jackson? Really? She isn’t even an ex wife! She had the bad sense to become a baby momma not once but twice to K-FED!! I don’t think anyone who’s ever been involved in any way with K-Fed should be hosting a show. She shouldn’t even be allowed to watch it. And to add insult to injury, she cried through the whole debacle. Every time one of the dumped told their sob story, Shar broke down in pain over having to be without K-Fed. She should have thrown a parade when that gross, mullet wearing, no talent, wigger left her for Britney. But if you think the credibility of the show is only lost because of her then you would be wrong. Marla Maples? ABC needs to get its head out of its ass and remember that MM was THE OTHER WOMAN in Donald Trumps life. She was the bitch he was cheating with! So while the dumpees are whining about being cheated on, Marla nods along as if to say “I get it.” Yeah, she gets it because she was screwing someone else’s husband! If that’s not enough to have you shaking your head in disbelief then try Angie Everheart. Once “engaged” to Sly Stallone NOT MARRIED, she went on to also be “engaged” to George Hamilton’s equally sun baked son Ashley who was possibly still a teenager and she was probably 50. So, she’s qualified to tell some poor loser why she’s so much better off after being dumped by her husband of 24 years. Yeah, Angie, you understand the true meaning of committment!

Let me try and calm down here. Yoga breaths. Deep cleansing yoga breaths.

The train wreck goes on to bore us for an entire hour with unintentionally hilarious cleansing rituals like “throw your ex husbands watch into burning lava!” and meeting with a world famous “Life Coach” named Debbie something or other whose face had fewer expressions than a totem pole. It was absolutely fitting that 50% of the commercials in this hour were for Restalyn and Juvederm and other marriage saving cosmetic techniques.

In the end one both of the dumpees left with no more self esteem or knowledge than they slumped in with but I definitely felt worse about myself for watching.

In other news, don’t watch me on the Today Show Thursday because I got bumped and won’t be doing it until July 10th. Two more weeks before I get to meet my lastest blog crush Momomax. If you haven’t read her blog, read it. It’s good. Seriously. I mean not as good as Ex Wives Club but really, what could be?

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on June 27, 2007 4:05 amUncategorized14 comments  

14 Comments

  1. Anonymous said,

    The real story behind “Depths of Despair” & Woman Lost (see: http://medicinegirl4fun.spaces.live.com/)

    | June 27, 2007 @ 6:11 am

  2. Suburban Oblivion said,

    Ugh, sounds like brain cells lost you can never get back.

    Be sure to post about the show thing closer to the date, otherwise mommybrain will kick in and I know I’ll forget.

    | June 27, 2007 @ 10:59 am

  3. Shawn said,

    And you didn’t enjoy that??? What’s wrong with you?

    I find the weather channel these days more interesting than most of the television shows.

    | June 27, 2007 @ 12:10 pm

  4. Bittermama said,

    Was this description actually meant to send me running to my TiVo squealing with glee that I actually have something to look forward to watching this summer that doesn’t involve getting up to put in a DVD? No? Oops.

    | June 27, 2007 @ 12:22 pm

  5. momomax said,

    how sweet are you??

    *blink blink*

    my husband keeps teasing me, threatening to show up on our date. we might be headed out your way this year…crazy huh?

    aside from lost, I don’t know if I watch much on abc these days. have you seen flight of the conchords? I’ve been walking around talking with a new zealand accent for a week now.

    | June 27, 2007 @ 8:44 pm

  6. KTP said,

    Thanks for the warning. I won’t be turning on either of those. Have you seen the one on Fox Reality where the bachelor is a little person and that bachelorettes are a mix of little people and regular people? The bachelor eliminates the little ones in favor of the “hot” regular ones, first. Ugh.

    | June 28, 2007 @ 12:10 am

  7. Jane is Dating said,

    i agree – i watched the one show in which basically they made this woman look like an ass and then they gave her a laptop. I’m sorry but if you’re going to make me look like an ass in front of at least 10 people, i need more than that.

    | June 28, 2007 @ 1:13 am

  8. gmcountrymama said,

    I am so tired and now I am confused. I have not seen this show and I’ll be sure to avoid it. Have a great time in NY. Can’t wait to see the show.

    | June 28, 2007 @ 1:49 am

  9. Slackermommy said,

    I remember seeing the ads and thinking, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

    | June 28, 2007 @ 12:52 pm

  10. Catwoman said,

    You’re a better woman than me. My brain wouldn’t even allow me to remember that train wreck was on.

    But when I saw the ads, I laughed so hard at Shar Jackson being in that show when she is still taking K-Fed’s side in his divorce with Britney. yeah, way to move on Shar! Now teach me something, you pathetic loser you!

    Is your retina forever damaged by this?

    | June 28, 2007 @ 4:38 pm

  11. Christine said,

    Bummer, I recorded the Today show today…I was looking forward to seeing you. Didn’t the producers consider my disappointment when making the decision to bump you? Honestly, some people can be so self-centered!

    Alright, I’ll schedule a recording for the 11th.

    | June 28, 2007 @ 8:16 pm

  12. Jane is Dating said,

    Stefanie I need to complain about something- I went to Barnes and Noble today specifically to buy YOUR book and guess what the bitch clerk told me?? THEY WERE ALL SOLD OUT and would expect an order to come in shortly. Bah! So now I wait…patiently. Not.
    :)

    | June 30, 2007 @ 2:16 am

  13. Bloggeroo said,

    I saw the ex-wives club too, and all I can say is…WOW. If Marla Maples is now considered a relationship expert, Ann Coulter should be giving parenting advice.

    | July 1, 2007 @ 2:50 am

  14. Mom101 said,

    I got through the first half hour or so of the first episode before I decided that I’m already short of brain cells these days. I don’t need help.

    | July 3, 2007 @ 12:43 am

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