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The One With The Green Shirt

Hey Turkeybutts,

Welcome to post Today Show comments. I don’t know how many of you caught the segment on us wine swillin’ white trash boozehounds but I really didn’t think it was that bad. I actually felt it was fair and balanced. A person has a right to warn us that a few drinks is too many when you’re with your child. Do you really want your child to see you slurring? I don’t. I’ve broken up with men for less. The last very last point I would have made on the show is that drinking a lot around your kids is okay. In my mind it’s not. BUT, is it easy to be stone cold sobor 24/7 with toddlers, you know the answer to that. Courtney Love isn’t managing it too well.

I enjoy a drink now and again at a friend’s house during a playdate. TRUTH be told, I can’t stand being buzzed during the day because I’m way too tired at night. And since becoming a mom, I can’t think of anything more aggregious than strapping my beautiful daughter into her car seat with no control over her destiny and getting behind the wheel drunk.

Hopefully, the reason this wasn’t addressed on the show is that we as mothers, are given at least that much fucking common sense. This wasn’t an intervention, it was a look at a trend. I don’t think they came down too hard on anyone.

Look, I barely have time to get my toenails polished and I happen to be an open toe show whore so this isn’t good, if I can fit in time to have a glass of wine and stay awake until Housewives of Orange County is over, I’ve had a steller day.

To be honest, I’ve tried to communicate with Melissa Summers over her blog but A) she never ever responds and B) now she’s got some typepad thingy that is harder to get into than the UN building. I would love to tell her we’re all on the same side and some people just don’t have a sense of humor. But I strongly believe more of us do or this funny mothering blogging wouldn’t be half as popular. It would just be all about breastfeeding.

Anyway, if you wish to leave a comment, please limit it to compliments (including how anorexic I looked, agreement on the topic, and how I should have my own show).

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on January 26, 2007 10:28 pmUncategorized43 comments  

43 Comments

  1. Mom101 said,

    I just found it online: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16818362/

    Fantastic! Thin! Clever!

    You came off more like someone I want to hang out with than that stick in the mud doctor on set who made it seem like everyone who drinks HAS TO DRINK OHMIGOD I NEED ONE NOW OR I WILL DIE.

    What if you’re at lunch with your family and have a bloody mary? What if you host a backyard bbq for all the neighbors and their kids and you have a beer in hand? I guarantee there would be less eye-rolling from the sanctimommies. It’s when you hear the term “playdate,” i.e. adults in kidworld (as opposed to kids in adultworld) that people start to get all twitchy.

    | January 27, 2007 @ 12:35 am

  2. BlogWhore said,

    i think that was a great interview. it showed me that the topic was blown WAY, WAY out of proportion.

    personally, i like two glasses of wine in the afternoon. i do like the buzz, and i don’t drive.

    listen, my grandmother raised nine kids. if it wasn’t for booze, she wouldn’t have survived. neither would the kids.

    you look great. you presented yourself well.

    what would the topic of your show be?

    | January 27, 2007 @ 1:00 am

  3. Christina said,

    I saw the segment, and thought you and Melissa presented several good points on the subject. My problem was with the uptight doctor who, though she said she wasn’t passing judgement, was passing judgement on moms who drink around their kids.

    We’re not saints, and shouldn’t be held to that standard. And it’s not like either of you were saying that you’re drinking every single day in front of the kids.

    It’s a glass of wine, people. When you drink it slowly, with food, you have little chance of getting buzzed. And a relaxed mom is a happy mom.

    | January 27, 2007 @ 2:39 am

  4. Wendy said,

    You were awesome – I hate that women judge one another – it sucks – live and let live – I never thought anyone was advocating getting smashed and stripping on tables in a bar – sense of humor has truly been lost these days – I was just totally excited to see you -and you looked FAB..

    | January 27, 2007 @ 3:12 am

  5. toyfoto said,

    I don’t mean to denegrate your issue in anyway, but I have to wonder are we really reduced to this? Where women have to ask other women if they wouldn’t allow a caretaker to drink on the job why the double standard?

    Holy crow.

    Being compared to a babysitter isn’t my idea of how ideal parenting should be measured. I don’t expect a care taker to sleep with my husband, I mean, maybe I shouldn’t either?

    It’s just ludicris. But you looked marvelous, skinny and totally SANE.

    | January 27, 2007 @ 3:41 am

  6. Just Plain Jane said,

    Hey Stefanie – hello! I’ve been lurking and decided to finally respond. Saw the program online (thanks mom101) and I agree-I don’t think there is anything wrong with drinking in front of your kids as long as you don’t overdo-it. I mean, take me for example: I grew up in a household where alcohol was readily available.

    My parents would serve wine with dinner every night and I started drinking sangria very early on (we’re Spanish)- granted we only got something the size of a shotglass but you know what? I didn’t turn 21 and go crazy because I’d always been around alcohol so it wasn’t anything new to me.

    And some people must pass judgment; let them. THey will be the miserable sows while the rest of us are having fun :)

    | January 27, 2007 @ 3:57 am

  7. Rebecca said,

    You looked HOT. Gorgeous. Total sex-kitten. Oh and very articulate. Shannon looked hot, too. Muah! (GGC, Blogger and me are not friends right now.)

    | January 27, 2007 @ 5:01 am

  8. Neil said,

    Jeez, you are hot. Since you drink at these play dates, have you ever thought of having an affair at one?!

    Seriously, I can’t believe this is even an issue. It’s not like you’re shooting yourself up with heroin. Europeans would be laughing at hearing the “raised eye-browed” commentary by the nay-sayers. Now do you drink the good stuff or Trader Joes?

    Hope your good looks sells more books.

    | January 27, 2007 @ 7:57 am

  9. Jenn said,

    Absolutely brilliant, articulate, thin and gorgeous!

    I rolled my eyes so much at the segment in general I think I sprained something. I enjoyed your write up of the whole segment.

    Totally loved the green shirt, Ms. Green Shirt Wine Swilling Mama.

    | January 27, 2007 @ 5:59 pm

  10. Melissa said,

    She didn’t say many. She said one “significantly impacts….” one’s ability to be a mother.

    I was the only one trying to explain moderation up there.

    I am not upset about how I was protrayed. I am upset about the implications of The Today Show’s approach to the topic in general.

    Typekey isn’t hard. You did get an account I see. Also? I don’t respond because sometimes there isn’t much to say.

    Please tell me you didn’t mean a sober mother isn’t a good one?

    | January 27, 2007 @ 6:34 pm

  11. Mrs. Chicky said,

    You were fabulous. Really. I was a bit miffed by Meredith V passing her bit of judgment (fair reporting? Close but not quite). Ah yes, there was judgment in those eyes. But let’s face it, no doctor or “expert” is going to step up and say it’s okay for a bunch of mommies to sit around and have a drink, even if it is. However, they won’t say boo to a bunch of guys who sit around watching the big game, having a beer or two, while their children are running around. Does that make me sound bitter? Maybe just a bit.

    | January 27, 2007 @ 6:39 pm

  12. Krisco said,

    Stefanie,

    (I’m having a little trouble logging on to Blogger, ironically, so apologies if something like this shows up twice.)

    Hey, you did great! And so skinny and svelte and funny! : )

    I’m glad to see you have a little playgroup now of moms you like to hang with. (Ones willing to go on national television! Oh heck, who wouldn’t.)

    (Melissa did great too, of course, on her segment.)

    Just a little thought: edit your profile on Typekey. Even though I knew your blog, I clicked on your name and it does not show your blog address. Since Melissa has about a million billion readers, surely some will visit here and see your funny ways. : )

    | January 27, 2007 @ 7:32 pm

  13. Meegan said,

    Wow, are you thin and lovely! And well spoken! And pretty! Did I say thin? So thin.

    To the comment that some people can’t metabolize a glass of wine very well, I say, you should hang out with more drinkers. You’ll get that pesky metabolism fixed in no time. Kidding. Sort of.

    We often open a bottle of champagne at playgroups. We have a glass and play with the little ones. We don’t slur, we don’t drive under the influence and we don’t even get buzzed. We just enjoy the moment and celebrate our luck at getting to be stay-at-home moms. And btw, one drink does not “significantly impact” our mothering abilities. Or any other abilities for that matter. I mean, c’mon. It’s ONE drink, people!

    | January 27, 2007 @ 8:36 pm

  14. annie said,

    You are absolutely gorgeous, and I loved how you clutched that wine glass all through the segment.

    I started watching just because I thought the subject was interesting and then I recognized some bloggers from the blog-world.

    Yeah, I couldn’t believe that part where she tried to compare the baby-sitter to a mother, absolutely irrelevant and ridiculous. So, when the kid turns 18, do you call up the babysitter and tell them to mail their share of the college money? I mean, how stupid was that question? who even came UP with that question, that’s what I wanna know!

    I guess Melissa is too busy over there with her adoring fans; maybe she has a better wine collection.

    | January 27, 2007 @ 11:19 pm

  15. Shannon said,

    I guess maybe I am a bit naive and that is why I am so bothered by the way it all panned out. I just don’t like being told the intent was to do a lighthearted and fun segment, but instead we were compared to babysitters. Ick!! And I don’t mind the opposing viewpoints, when there is a balance and the other side is given a shot. When they open a segment “Chaos and Cocktails, Booze and Babies,. . .” That is not fair and balanced. And I didn’t appreciate the comment that we underestimate the impairment one drink has. Gimme a break I am more impaired by sleep deprivation or a head cold than a glass of wine. I am a much worse mommy on those day than the days I have a glass of wine.

    At least we looked good, eh? And Janet called my house immaculate in her article, so it wasn’t all bad.

    | January 27, 2007 @ 11:24 pm

  16. KTP said,

    I guess it would have looked bad if I was invited to that playdate and stood around, 6-month pregnant belly, with a glass of wine, huh? Maybe I’d get more comments on my blog, though.

    | January 28, 2007 @ 2:08 am

  17. Jenn said,

    I had to respond to ktp’s comment.

    You should have gone on with your 6 month pregnant belly and just say that, “No, I am just babysitting this fetus so that her Mommy can get drunk at playgroup.”

    All in all, I wasn’t a fan of the piece at all, but loved the women in it. Hope that counts for something.

    | January 28, 2007 @ 3:22 am

  18. Her Bad Mother said,

    I missed the episode, but I didn’t need to, to know that a) you’re clever, and b) funny, and c) probably fun to drink with.

    Oops. Did I just say DRINK? Is someone going to call family services on me now?

    | January 28, 2007 @ 2:50 pm

  19. surcie said,

    Woman, you are hot. And I have major hair envy.

    What I want to know is, what about all the Dads who’ll be drinking beer in front of their TVs on Superbowl Sunday with the kids playing in the background while Mom goes off to the mall? Where’s the uproar?

    Whatever. I’m coming to Encino to hang out with y’all.

    surcie.typepad.com

    | January 28, 2007 @ 5:58 pm

  20. Melissa R. Garrett said,

    I have to admit that when I first heard playdate and cocktail in the same sentence my feathers got a little bit ruffled. You have to first understand that my mother had a horrible drinking problem and would often host my friends while sloshed. But then I said to my husband, what is the difference if it is a family get-together or block party where alcohol and children are in the same vicinity? There WAS one thing that got to me, and maybe it wasn’t your intention. It was when the reporter brought up the possibility that there might be a group of women out there who would judge and you said something along the lines of, let’s see if they are good mothers after 15 hours of being sober. I have three kids (18 months, 5 years, and 7 years). I know I am a good mother – not perfect, mind you, but I don’t feel like I need a cocktail to unwind. Okay, so maybe I DO do my fair share of crying in the bathroom between the hours of 3-5, and it IS possible a glass of wine would resolve that. There was one woman, I don’t know if she was in your group or one of the other groups profiled, but she said she uses these cocktail/playdates to weed out those moms who don’t approve. I very rarely drink, and I am sure I would decline a drink if offered. But that doesn’t mean I disapprove. I would feel TOTALLY rotten if I was excluded from the group simply because I don’t drink.

    Okay, now that I have totally rambled and you think I am some raving lunatic, when I sorted out how I felt about the issue I came to this conclusion: You are obviously a group of very responsible and loving moms. I don’t believe you would ever put your kids in danger. It’s okay for you to do what you do at your playdate, and I will continue to serve cofee, tea, and cookies at mine. And hopefully we won’t judge each other. ‘Cause you are absolutely right about too much judgement being passed already. And if you are ever in Ithaca, NY., I promise I will have a glass of wine waiting for you :-)

    | January 28, 2007 @ 8:56 pm

  21. Nancy said,

    You looked mahvelous.

    And I’d so be crashing one of your playdates if I thought I lived near you. Looks like you all know how to have fun! 😉

    | January 28, 2007 @ 9:35 pm

  22. Kiro said,

    i too can’t even believe this is an issue..your name caught my attention Friday morning b/c I loved your book ..but the piece blew me away. I never knew this was an issue or people looked down on you for having a drink- what are we supposed to not drink for the next 18 years? People need to relax…and Meredith Viera??? hello…what happened to objective reporting?? she should NOT have inserted her opinion in to the piece as she clearly did…anyway i’m gonna go polish off my bottle of shiraz..

    | January 28, 2007 @ 11:54 pm

  23. ravenous said,

    You looked great in your skinny jeans!

    | January 29, 2007 @ 1:07 am

  24. sherry said,

    I think all the mommybloggers should pop open a bottle of wine (I’ve got a glass of red right here) and have a virtual playdate right now.

    We ARE all on the same side – the side that says we’re all human! :)

    | January 29, 2007 @ 2:26 am

  25. rachel said,

    Love that idea, Sherry – a virtual playdate with wine! But I like alliteration! I did like Cocktails & Chaos because of it, but ah well.

    I think you were wonderful! and pretty! and slender! and I’d love to come to one of your playdates. Wish this trend was around when my kids were little!

    I talked to my recovering-alcoholic dad about this subject tonight, and he was boggled that this made the news. it’s not something that should be debated – just a cool idea to get moms together.

    | January 29, 2007 @ 4:47 am

  26. lildb said,

    annorexic: check.

    hottie: check.

    please. please, for the love of god, get your own damn show.

    pronto.

    p.s. please always wear green. it’s FUCKING GORGEOUS on you.

    lastly, I think you’re my hero for having the chutzpah to say it loud. I totally appreciated your clarity, and I didn’t think *at all* that you were trying to expound upon gettin’ faded at the playground. on a scale of zero-awesome, you richtered.

    well done.

    | January 29, 2007 @ 5:53 am

  27. gingajoy said,

    Totally. Fucking. Hot.

    Green is your color, absolutely.

    I think you came across as measured, sane and someone most of us would want to hang with. I agree with others here that the topic itself was blown way out of proportion.

    | January 29, 2007 @ 4:47 pm

  28. Gidge said,

    I didn’t see it and I can’t ever HEAR anything in my house with all these damn kids running around screaming so watching the video is pointless but, since everyone on the planet earth has posted about it….I guess it hit a button. Until I got downsized two weeks ago I was at work 60 hours a week and therefore NOT INVITED to playdates.

    SO I totally out of the loop with this concept.

    I guess if I ever get invited one I’ll make this big moral decision then……..eh?

    | January 29, 2007 @ 5:25 pm

  29. jess said,

    I watched it just for you, my friend. I don’t have any kids, but when I do I hope I can find some friends like you to hang out with.

    Also, you are hot and skinny. I hate you.

    | January 29, 2007 @ 8:58 pm

  30. Yak said,

    Whoa, whoa, whoaaaaaaa.

    I don’t drink at all, for much the same reason as a previous commenter mentioned. I lived with two raging alcoholics for most of my formative years.

    While it impacted my views on shitty parenting, it did not turn me into a preachy tee-totaler who can’t tolerate being around people who drink. My husband drinks, as do most of my friends. Not a problem. It’s just never been my thing.

    For someone who resents being judged for drinking a glass of wine during a playdate, I find it mighty hypocritical for you to make such a presumptuous remark about the parenting skills of a “sober” mother. The insinuation that a sober mother is somehow a crappier, or more overwhelmed parent, is simply obnoxious.

    If this truly is about “choice”, then let’s not forget it is also a women’s choice to NOT drink during the day around their kids, as much as it is your choice to drink during a playdate.

    We certainly don’t have to agree on the subject, but in one fell swoop, you denigrated a whole bunch of mothers with that “sober” remark.

    And let me tell you sistah, I’m 47 and have raised two sons, ages 23 and 22, and they turned out pretty damned great, responsible, loving and funny, despite or, perhaps, because of me being a sober stay-at-home mom. Who knows?

    And oh yeah, this idea that sober people are a drag? Hahaaaaaaaaaa. You have no idea.

    Peace.

    Yak

    | January 29, 2007 @ 11:30 pm

  31. Mom101 said,

    Yak…I’m thinkinnnnnn….
    She was just making a joke?

    | January 30, 2007 @ 12:01 am

  32. Meena said,

    You looked terrific! And so very thin!

    I just can’t believe how blown out of proportion the topic got. I must have missed you or Melissa saying that the only way women can cope with being a mother is getting slammed??? And if someone truly feels that way, then I hope what the dr. said was educational for them. Goodness knows, I had no idea that if alcohol was my sole coping mechanism in life, I might have a problem.

    I guess the only time we are allowed to have a glass of wine is…when? When is that exactly?

    Whatever. I will be having a glass of wine tonight and I will be feeling ZERO guilt about it.

    | January 30, 2007 @ 12:08 am

  33. mothergoosemouse said,

    Stefanie, I finally watched it – but only so that I could tell you honestly that you looked absolutely fabulous. And very slender. Not everyone looks so slender on TV.

    And considering that I have drunk Chardonnay from a sippie cup and posted a picture of my daughter with the martini shaker, I can only imagine what that psych and Meredith and iVillage would all have to say about me.

    I like that you and Melissa both spoke up for moderation, but frankly I’m bewildered by her terse comment here. So I’ll choose you as my playdate drinking buddy.

    | January 30, 2007 @ 12:09 am

  34. HedbergFan said,

    Psst Yak…. Meet me over here in the corner of the comments box:

    We NEED to talk about comedy, Yak. First off, Stephanie was making a joke that was probably edited badly in the Today Show piece. You cut off 4 words at the front of something and then it’s not a joke. She was clearly kidding. Lighten up on her.

    With that cleared up, we need to talk about your love of this generation’s Carrot Top. I speak of Dane Cook, who seems to be enshrined on your blog. Sadly, jumping around, acting like you’re on meth and making a slew of random observations in a pitched voice, that have no set-up or pay off is not comedy. And since a spot-on spoof is worth 1000 words:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tf94cwmC66g

    The few jokes that Dane Cook has are may well have been stolen: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dane_Cook#Criticism

    And worst of all, Dane has no sense of humor about himself:
    http://www.bestweekever.tv/2007/01/17/exlusive-dane-cook-is-my-myspace-pen-pal/

    I know you didn’t start this post thinking there would be outside links and homework, but you have to learn if you want to grow.

    Dane Cook is to comedy what Screech is to porn. Better we leave the public practice of both to the pros…

    | January 30, 2007 @ 2:17 am

  35. Yak said,

    Hedbergfan,

    You sarcastic minx!

    I’m entirely sure that Stefanie is capable of defending herself. I anxiously await for her to have at it. Should she choose not to, that’s fine also. I didn’t leave a comment to start a flame war.

    This isn’t about Dane Cook, or Mitch Hedberg, or Robert Schimmel or any of the other comedians I link to in my journal.

    Please stay with the tour.

    Your opinions are just that, opinions. As are mine.

    And the big question of the day: How in pluperfect hell does a regular viewer discern when the Today Show has edited an interviewee’s comments?

    I’m not Patricia Arquette.

    Yak

    | January 30, 2007 @ 2:37 am

  36. TB said,

    I saw the segment having not been acquainted with your blog or your book and I thought how much you reminded me of myself and my girlfriends.

    The whole thing really is an arbitrary issue as far as I’m concerned… just another way for women to judge each other as mothers, thus fueling the fire for everyone else to do so.

    Thanks for bringing a bit of humor and sanity to the whole thing. I suppose you could have just as easily been uptight about it as was evidenced by the other interviews, but I suspect that’s not your style.

    Cheers.

    | January 30, 2007 @ 2:41 pm

  37. misfithausfrau said,

    Great appearance on the Today Show, Stephanie. Overall, I found the piece to be preachy and judgmental in a “you’re a bad mommy” for drinking. But you looked great! And skinny! And made your point! Congrats!

    | January 31, 2007 @ 2:47 am

  38. Granny said,

    I didn’t know you either or where to find you when I saw the clip. Now I’ll go back and watch it again if it’s still on line. I was having a little trouble with the audio but you looked lovely.

    In any event, thanks.

    | January 31, 2007 @ 4:08 am

  39. sarcastic journalist said,

    I agree you must eat more twinkees or share with us how you can stay so thin yet drink like a sailor.

    I kid! I kid!

    Personally, I’m a lush so no playgroup drinks for me, unless it can be one of those childless playgroups.

    | January 31, 2007 @ 4:09 am

  40. binkytown said,

    I’m happy to give you a compliment and you did look fabulous and came across very well spoken. I think you came out ahead, had you gone into the studio they may have been much more rough on you ( are you going in to the studio on Friday?! Give Meredith a swift kick for me)

    | January 31, 2007 @ 3:06 pm

  41. Sassy said,

    I totally agree with you, you’re thin and you should have your own show. Now what do I win? *Wink wink*. Seriously, though, if you get your own show, can I be a guest? Ha! You did a great job on the piece and I would absolutely hang out with you!

    | February 2, 2007 @ 6:06 pm

  42. Anonymous said,

    You all did a great job on the show and it’s too bad they tricked you about the angle of the segment.

    There is a statement up on the parenting blog Z Recommends with pictures people can put up on their own blog to show that they believe it is okay for a woman to have a glass of wine even though she is a mother. Only in America is this kind of defense of mothers’ rights to be adults needed.

    | February 5, 2007 @ 5:46 pm

  43. Anonymous said,

    surcie: “What I want to know is, what about all the Dads who’ll be drinking beer in front of their TVs on Superbowl Sunday with the kids playing in the background while Mom goes off to the mall? Where’s the uproar?”

    CODED TRANSMISSION FROM GUYVILLE:
    Are you kidding? Guys don’t take s*** from other guys. If some other Dad attempted to scold me for responsibly enjoying a little wine with family dinner, I’d laugh it off. If he persisted, I’d politely tell him to get lost.

    It amazes me how women allow themselves to get bent out of shape by other women. Don’t you get enough stress from — er, from us? 😉

    XOXOXO,
    Highly educated, highly successful, moderate drinker Dad

    | March 5, 2007 @ 5:57 pm

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