I had a celebrity sighting today. I was in the mall and saw Kato Kaelin.
Yes, it’s true. I’m not making it up to be really cool, exaggerating my life to snare more readers and possibly get Blogher to come and put an ad on my site for feminine hygiene products. But before I could pat myself on the back for this coop, I had to stop and think to myself, “thrilling as it may be to see Kato live and in person, it may not qualify as a celebrity sighting anymore.” My husband, in fact, told me he doesn’t believe it counts. But then again, he was proud because he spotted “the dumb girl from the Bacardi commercial” at the Burbank airport. So, I can’t trust him on this issue.
It’s hard to know where to draw the line when you live in a city that’s crawling with working actors, wanna-be actors, reality tv cretins and bonafide celebrities. I mean, three days ago I saw Harry Hamlin and didn’t even blink an eye because I knew right away that didn’t count. If LA Law was still on the air maybe but still doubtful. Possibly, the reason I even considered Kato a celeb sighting is the sheer shock value of it. Seemingly out of nowhere, his blow-dried head appeared from the counter of Wetzel’s Pretzels. He was accompanied by two women fully made up and wearing heels. High heels in a mall is a strange sight. It’s hard enough on your feet to stroll around in a pair of Keds on those concrete floors. Wearing a spiked heel would feel like performing Hari Kari on myself. Or at least, I’d want to. Anyway, it was immediately apparent I was staring straight at Kato “famous houseguest” Kaelin.
After I got over the shock and went into the numbness of acceptance, I started wondering about something. There has to be a reason that Kato still sports the same exact Leif Garrett blow dry look he became known for in 1995. I started thinking that I guess you’d have to. If you go changing your look, who’s going to know it’s you – KATO – famous for nothing? If say, Tootie from Fact of Life changes her look, when she stars in another sitcom we all know it’s her. But Kato would have to get himself involved in another scandal if he had a totally new look. So I guess I get it now. And that is why I’m going to continue to wear banana clips in my hair even though I was recently told that they are so far out of style that they’re like the gauchos of hair accessories. But, hey, how will anyone know it’s my hair?