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BUH BYE

I’m at the carousel today with Elby and she’s chatting away with me, when a woman in green slacks (should’ve been a warning) places her little girl on a giant giraffe in front of us. Right away I can’t help but notice she’s one of those overly baby-talking moms despite the fact that her daughter looks to be about five. “Do you wannna wide on da giraffy, honey?” “Uh, sure mom, and can I bum a smoke?” You get the picture. Just as soon as the ride gets going, she turns to Elby and says, “hi there.” So I look over at Elby and give her the requisite, “can you say hi?” and she gives baby-talking-mom a Twinkle Twinkle Little Star Wave – not actually bothering to say hi, which I totally get. And here’s the crazy part — the woman says, “oh is that some kind of sign language thing?” REALLY? “nope…just…regular language.” And then she sort of frowns and dismisses us with a “huh.” Like she’s saying, “if you say so. But I’ve never come across that before. Maybe you should have her tested.” Yeah, isn’t a wave sort of the international symbol for hi?

You know what? I’m teaching my daughter how to flip the bird. Which I’m pretty sure is the international symbol for buh bye.

And by the way, if you want another taste of L.A., check out my hilarious friend Suzy’s new blog Where Hot Comes To Die

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on September 18, 2006 8:21 pmUncategorized19 comments  

19 Comments

  1. Julie said,

    Flipping the bird is the international sign for “buh-bye”, “whatever” and “go away crazy lady”. I am sure it will come in handy.

    | September 18, 2006 @ 10:24 pm

  2. Suzy said,

    Thanks for the redirect Stef. So far, 7 people in Juno can read it due to my inability to email a url that works.

    As to the comment section of my blog, here’s mine: WTF?

    Suzy

    | September 18, 2006 @ 11:54 pm

  3. Denise said,

    you are hysterical….

    | September 19, 2006 @ 12:45 am

  4. Misfit Hausfrau said,

    Too funny. People never cease to amaze me with their rudeness. Especially people who wear slacks.

    | September 19, 2006 @ 2:03 pm

  5. Mama of 2 said,

    That was too funny.
    Thanks for the mid morning laugh. I can really use it.

    | September 19, 2006 @ 2:04 pm

  6. Lena said,

    Or even just palming it and turning away, like “talk to the hand”. That I’d love to see.

    | September 19, 2006 @ 9:12 pm

  7. surcie said,

    I just love your perspective, Stef.

    This reminded me of a waitress we once had who insisted that my son was signing. She couldn’t seem to accept that I hadn’t really taught him to sign and that he was just flailing about like a normal baby. I mean, yeah he’s brilliant, but. . .

    | September 19, 2006 @ 11:56 pm

  8. Jenny said,

    Oh my god you are so my new friend.

    | September 20, 2006 @ 12:18 pm

  9. Anonymous said,

    Ugh. At least she didn’t give her the smooshy wooshy hi babeeee crap. I hate when people talk to my daughter like that. I seriously think teaching them to flip the bird might be a great idea…

    | September 20, 2006 @ 2:37 pm

  10. surfingmama said,

    Hi there!

    We would like to invite you to showcase your blog articles to millions of internet-surfing mums through the Surfingmama Blog Carnival. Make a difference for mums all over the world. Surfingmama focuses only on stuff that matters. For mums. Submit to us practical, useful & informative articles that mums need to make informed choices. Topics include childcare, preschool, child-education, child-safety, pregnancy, child-health, special-needs, breastfeeding, mothers-health, childbirth, getting-pregnant, and even humor! Submit your article now to make it for the upcoming edition scheduled on 25 Sept 2006 at:

    http://blogcarnival.com/bc/cprof_506.html

    | September 21, 2006 @ 10:33 am

  11. jali said,

    I hate baby talking people, period.
    2 women I know talk to their pets that way – “poor widdle kiddy” and “what a schweet puppy”. I want to slap something after a minute or two listening to the annoyances.

    | September 21, 2006 @ 2:55 pm

  12. Jaime said,

    Ya know, as often as I use the bird (very often when driving. My mom says that’s one way she knows for sure I’m my father’s daughter [he’s a truck driver btw]) Anyway, don’t forget how belittling the thumbs up can be. Ok, now picture this, you are driving along, not paying enough attention to the road and you cut someone off. When you look at them and are about the do that little sheepish wave and mouth “sorry” you see them hunched over their wheel doing a double thumbs up, trust me when I say it ususally makes you feel more stupid than the bird. And the thumbs up is so versatile, it can be substituted for the finger in almost any situation and have a very nice effect, try to keep it in mind next time you get angry. Also, I got your book in the mail last week and due to the fact that I have a baby set to be delivered by c-section on the 26th, I haven’t had a whole lot of time to read it. And because I will not be able to laugh without being in a great deal of pain for a few days afterward, I regrettably have to put the book aside for a while. I can’t wait to finish it though, what I have read has been great!

    | September 22, 2006 @ 7:43 am

  13. Alexa said,

    What a tooly tool. I hate the babytalk, especially in a public place when the kid is old enough to look embarrassed. Bleh.

    | September 22, 2006 @ 3:51 pm

  14. claw121803 said,

    My daughter says nine, alot. She is almost 2, born 5 Nov 2004. Anyway, if she says nine and other people hear it, they will inevitably say she doesn’t look 9. Go figure. It is so bad that I tell them she is learning to speak German. They leave us alone.

    | September 22, 2006 @ 5:25 pm

  15. Ruth Dynamite said,

    This is hilarious. What’s with these people? Next time (God forbid), just say, “Yes. It’s sign language, but she’s speaking Japanese.”

    | September 22, 2006 @ 5:50 pm

  16. Mrs. T said,

    Next time tell her that no, it’s not some kind of sign language, she’s got a nervous tick from freaks who talk baby talk to her.

    | September 23, 2006 @ 2:26 am

  17. queen of wt said,

    You can be sure that the babytalking lady’s daughter will be living in a conversion van with her boyfriend “Luka” in about 16 years—-all because her mom made her go to therapy at age 4. PS—You know, don’t you that your sweetie will only flip the bird when your elderly relatives are visiting or somewhere that you DON’T want her to? They sense our fear.

    | September 25, 2006 @ 11:47 pm

  18. gmcountrymama said,

    Late entry, Wellbutrin made me lose my appetite, but it also made me more crazy and obsessive so I had to get off it. I am having much difficulty losing the weight I gained during my second pregnancy. THREE YEARS AGO! I am currently weaning myself from Lexapro to see if it is causing an irregular heart beat I have been having. It is amazing how much lexapro helps me. The past week my moods change by the minute. Happy, sad, angry, insecure, all in the same hour. I must figure this heart thing out so I can be back on by Thanksgiving when I really need help coping!

    | September 27, 2006 @ 11:38 pm

  19. stefanierj said,

    All the other comments are so sparkling and funny that I find myself–for once–at a loss with nothing to add. Hilarious!

    | September 29, 2006 @ 3:56 pm

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