I know the times they are a changin’ but, seriously, my daughter is a hussy.
In other news, I think I’ve discovered why it can be so hard to be a SAHM. Having a toddler is exactly like hosting an out of town guest indefinitely. Lately I’ve been feeling like Julie from The Love Boat – minus the cocaine addiction. Every day starts out with getting her out of her crib and immediately trying to figure out what she’d like to do. “So, would you like to watch some Elmo?” The kid just looks at me. “Are you still keeping up with Dora? I could put Dora on.” No response. “Hmm…well, would you like to see what’s happening on the Today Show then? No? Okay, why don’t I just leave the remote next to you and I’ll see about breakfast. Are you warm enough? Can I get you your blankie?” “Blankie!!” “Great, I’ll just get that for you and…here you go…would you like waffles and yogurt?” “Noooooo.” “Oh right. You’re lactose intolerant. I completely forgot. Well, let’s see what else we have. How about an egg?” I get the gas face. “Well then, why don’t we just go out for breakfast?”
After getting dressed and having a morning meal, we still have to burn off another couple of hours with activities. “Let’s see, you haven’t seen your uncle Mike in awhile, should we go swimming at his condo?” “POOL! SWIMMING!” “Great. Let’s go.” Then it’s home for a nap while I schedule the afternoon activity. Playdate, Target, grocery shopping, newest exhibit at the Getty, if we’re out and about she’s happy. Of course at dinner we start over with dinner a bath with fresh towels and please let me turn down your bed madame!
Where’s the part where she goes home and I lay on the couch eating El Pollo Loco and watching crap tv for a couple of days while I unwind from the constant activity until I start to miss her and we plan for her next trip?
On the upside, if you’re going to have a permanent guest, mine is pretty good company. What out of town guest wants to spend a half hour just dancing around the living room to my new Dixie Chicks CD? And what couch loafter would think it’s funny when I put my face right up to their face and make a crazy noise, over and over and over? Plus the fact that she’s pretty damn cute. Now if I could just find her a little baby Norplant.