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Welcome to Chez Mommy

I know the times they are a changin’ but, seriously, my daughter is a hussy.

In other news, I think I’ve discovered why it can be so hard to be a SAHM. Having a toddler is exactly like hosting an out of town guest indefinitely. Lately I’ve been feeling like Julie from The Love Boat – minus the cocaine addiction. Every day starts out with getting her out of her crib and immediately trying to figure out what she’d like to do. “So, would you like to watch some Elmo?” The kid just looks at me. “Are you still keeping up with Dora? I could put Dora on.” No response. “Hmm…well, would you like to see what’s happening on the Today Show then? No? Okay, why don’t I just leave the remote next to you and I’ll see about breakfast. Are you warm enough? Can I get you your blankie?” “Blankie!!” “Great, I’ll just get that for you and…here you go…would you like waffles and yogurt?” “Noooooo.” “Oh right. You’re lactose intolerant. I completely forgot. Well, let’s see what else we have. How about an egg?” I get the gas face. “Well then, why don’t we just go out for breakfast?”

After getting dressed and having a morning meal, we still have to burn off another couple of hours with activities. “Let’s see, you haven’t seen your uncle Mike in awhile, should we go swimming at his condo?” “POOL! SWIMMING!” “Great. Let’s go.” Then it’s home for a nap while I schedule the afternoon activity. Playdate, Target, grocery shopping, newest exhibit at the Getty, if we’re out and about she’s happy. Of course at dinner we start over with dinner a bath with fresh towels and please let me turn down your bed madame!

Where’s the part where she goes home and I lay on the couch eating El Pollo Loco and watching crap tv for a couple of days while I unwind from the constant activity until I start to miss her and we plan for her next trip?

On the upside, if you’re going to have a permanent guest, mine is pretty good company. What out of town guest wants to spend a half hour just dancing around the living room to my new Dixie Chicks CD? And what couch loafter would think it’s funny when I put my face right up to their face and make a crazy noise, over and over and over? Plus the fact that she’s pretty damn cute. Now if I could just find her a little baby Norplant.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on August 22, 2006 10:28 pmUncategorized21 comments  

21 Comments

  1. nonlineargirl said,

    She is pretty cute. I think you are right about that analogy. I often think I catch my daughter glaring at me with a “where’s the freaking buffet?” look.

    | August 23, 2006 @ 12:10 am

  2. stephanie said,

    She’s beautiful. Just like her mom :)

    Good to see you back and posting a bit more regularly. I missed ya bitch!

    | August 23, 2006 @ 1:08 am

  3. Shannon said,

    At least she has good taste in men!

    | August 23, 2006 @ 1:14 am

  4. Crazy Lady said,

    Being a stay at home mom is HARD! Thats one reason why I went back to work.

    Adorable picture too!

    | August 23, 2006 @ 2:34 am

  5. Wendy said,

    Amen, Stef…i feel like the entertainment director here too – it’s a little much at times – when i start juggling, you know it’s bad..hang in there….she is too cute for words

    | August 23, 2006 @ 3:19 am

  6. Justdmarine said,

    LOL. I’m glad your’e back and posting more. Missed you when your daughter was sick.

    I hear you on the SAHM thing. I did it (and am still doing it) for all of thier young lives and started a home business to keep it going. I have never regretted a moment and I think I’ve learned enough about multitasking, foriegn relations, events catering, etc to run a small country on my own LOL.

    Keep up the GREAT work! You are an excellent role model for your tiny woman (who is adorable by the way).

    | August 23, 2006 @ 11:09 am

  7. Binkytown said,

    Wow- is that really your daughter? She is so lovely! I thought that was a stock photo because it’s too cute to be real! Yeah, you’d better get her on the Norplant fast track. Boys will come calling.

    | August 23, 2006 @ 4:32 pm

  8. Jess Riley said,

    baby norplant! Ha! As always, you crack me up.

    Elby is so damn cute. What beautiful hair.

    PS: Dane Cook really isn’t that funny.

    | August 24, 2006 @ 12:59 am

  9. sunshine scribe said,

    Julie on the Love Boat … oh that is perfect. That is so how I feel some times.

    She is so very cute!!

    | August 24, 2006 @ 11:04 am

  10. Heahter said,

    Yeah, I tried the stay at home mom thing when my son was six. It lasted almost six months for me until I decided to go back to school for forensic science because I’d rather watch dead people get all cut up than try to entertain a six year old.

    | August 24, 2006 @ 4:50 pm

  11. Heather said,

    HA. I spelled my name wrong on the last comment.

    | August 24, 2006 @ 4:50 pm

  12. Mich said,

    I think you hit the nail on the head…and I don’t think you get to lay on the couch watching crap TV recovering until, well, college graduation. Maybe.

    She’s adorable!

    | August 24, 2006 @ 7:18 pm

  13. GIRL'S GONE CHILD said,

    Awwwwww. How cute!

    | August 25, 2006 @ 4:39 pm

  14. Izzy said,

    I once referred to myself as my kid’s personal “Julie the Cruise Director”, too…lol GMTA 😉

    Cute photo!

    | August 27, 2006 @ 1:57 pm

  15. scarbie doll said,

    Oh fuck that’s some funny shit. I’ve been reading your book while I was on vacation and I have to say, this post reminded me of that. Missed ya.

    | August 27, 2006 @ 2:42 pm

  16. jali said,

    Very funny stuff. My song for my girls was “Whip It” by Devo – we would dance all over the house.

    | August 28, 2006 @ 3:14 pm

  17. sweatpantsmom said,

    I’d like to volunteer for that houseguest position, if you’ll bring me waffles, yogurt and eggs in bed. And I wouldn’t even think of making gas face.

    | August 29, 2006 @ 1:49 am

  18. Nila said,

    SAHM = Concierge

    | August 29, 2006 @ 7:21 am

  19. MrsFortune said,

    Dude. El Pollo Loco. Me likey mucho.

    Better give her the birth control talk ASAP, woman. And I heard she filed a complaint with management because you forgot to leave a mint the other day when you turned down the bed. :0)

    Gotta get that Target run in there! (PS I bought a copy of your book for a friend who is expecting and she raved about it. Go me. For buying it for her, I mean. Go you for writing it!)

    | August 30, 2006 @ 6:40 pm

  20. Jenny said,

    I love the love boat analogy.

    Was I the only one who had a thing for Gopher?

    | August 30, 2006 @ 10:24 pm

  21. Lisa said,

    She is so adoreable! My son would LOOOOVVVEEE her!

    | September 4, 2006 @ 10:47 pm

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