So, I’m googing myself as I often do when I have time on my hands due to Elby sleeping or some unforseen break given to me by my husband, when I come across something entitled Sippy Cups are Not For Chardonnay rant. I immediately have to go see what this is all about. I’m not surprised when I’m taken to Mothering.com and find that a few of those judgemental breast feeding advocates or as I like to call them, “tit terrorists” didn’t love my book. But I was a little taken a back by just how humorless, judgemental and ignorant women can be toward each other. I don’t want to start a debate here on my blog about breast feeding. It’s obvious that these days the topic is about as neutral as abortion or capital punishment – but you’d think that I was advocating using babies for human experiments or suggesting that heroin is great for kids by these women’s reactions.
The reason I talked about breast feeding in my book was that I wanted to share my own personal experience with it. For anyone that hasn’t read Sippy Cups, and I’m sure there are a couple of you out there, I didn’t have an easy time of it.
When I was in the throes of misery, trying in vain to breast feed my baby with my 20 years before surgically reduced breasts (something I didn’t share in my book because it’s none of anyone’s business why I didn’t breast feed. We don’t need a reason)I had no idea that I’d eventually find many kindred spirits. Women who had the same shit experience that I had cradling my sobbing, hungry baby to my boob in the football hold while I, myself, sobbed endlessly in my postpartum depression haze. Yes, while I was popping Fenugreek like it’s my job, and pumping for 45 minutes to squeeze out a quarter ounce of liquid gold, little did I know that plenty of women quit without giving it a second thought. But many more torture themselves feeling that they would be letting down their baby, their husband and their country if they didn’t make it work. It’s such a shame to me that women have to be closeted formula feeders because they’re so terrified of what people might think. But certain women DO a strong negative opinion about women who are breast feeding challenged. And they’re not afraid to share it. Yes, it’s not our imagination. The proof is in that link.
Before the comments roll in about how tough it can be in some states to be a breast feeder, I know this. I am on your side. You should be able to breast feed anywhere you damn well please and that includes the men’s room at Starbucks if you so see fit. I really don’t give a shiznit where you want to park your breast but I don’t see why STRANGERS are so fired up by women who choose not to do it. I know that a lot of women feel that “breast is best.” They feel it strongly. They feel it to the depth of their souls. But this is no excuse for making another momma feel like crap because breast feeding was getting in the way of bonding with her baby. Or breast feeding was causing waaay more anxiety than it’s worth or or or WHATEVER. This also holds true for putting your baby on a schedule, boring them…I mean, reading them from the Collected Works of William Shakespeare in utero and the many other personal choices out there.
And now that I have done my share of ranting, I would also like to say, if any of the women who hate me on Mothering.com, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR? Do you really think I was serious when I said that I wanted the baby in the nursery for a year? Are you on crack? Maybe you need to be. Lighten up and it will ease the load for both of us. God, if I smoked I’d need a cigarette now.