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Lose Weight Now – Ask Me How!

I don’t know about you, but living in L.A., (that’s Los Angeles to you people that live somewhere not as cool as L.A.) it’s extremely important to be thin. This is something I’ve been working on for quite sometime. First there was the ice cream diet where all I ate were ice cream sandwhich bars (healthy choice natch) and Ben and Jerry’s. When I’d get tempted to eat a vegetable, I’d remind myself of how important in this society of Hollywood it is to not succumb to the temptation to pig out on veggies, and remember that Thin is Where It’s At. I mean, especially if you want to be a writer. You don’t want the picture on the back jacket of your book – even if it’s just from the neck up – to show you as a person who doesn’t care deeply about her looks… and what other people may think of her looks.

Seriously, if I’m going to get into the dog eat dog world of Supermodeling for women over 40 (which I will be very soon) then I better put my money where my mouth is, and not put mac & cheese there instead. Yes, I understand there’s always hand modeling, but that’s not where the glamour is. SO, for the past five minutes I’ve been working really hard on my slimmer summer physique. I think we can all agree,I look fantastic. In fact, Nicole Richie can eat her heart out…although, I hear heart, even from Whole Foods, is the fattiest of all the organ meats. So Nicky, baby, I don’t recommend it.

Pretty sweet, huh? Now if I could just do some spot reducing on my face. Does anyone have any good facercises? Or a trainer that specializes in cheeks?

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on June 25, 2006 3:25 amUncategorized21 comments  

21 Comments

  1. Neil said,

    Did you notice that guy behind you checking out your ass?

    | June 25, 2006 @ 4:46 am

  2. Her Bad Mother said,

    OK, so I don’t usually shoot beverages out of my nose, unless I am laughing SO FUCKING HARD (can I say that here?)

    And please, pitch America’s Next Top Aging Model to somebody. Teri Hatcher could host.

    | June 25, 2006 @ 6:30 pm

  3. Caryn said,

    Okay, that girl is so skinny it’s scary. She needs some force-feeding STAT.

    | June 25, 2006 @ 10:22 pm

  4. Haley-O said,

    How many calories can one burn writing? …blogging? Writing/blogging while lifting spoon full of Ben & Jerry’s too and from mouth repeatedly?

    | June 26, 2006 @ 2:49 am

  5. Oblivious Maven said,

    Thanks for the diet tip! No membership fees, no expensive foods, and minimal preparation.

    | June 26, 2006 @ 3:40 pm

  6. Misfit Hausfrau said,

    It’s true–I would die happy if I could have Victoria Beckham’s body–just for a day though–I like eating.

    | June 26, 2006 @ 5:07 pm

  7. Teacher lady said,

    I think it’s interesting that in the rest of the U.S., we’re all getting fatter – at least according to the CDC and their warnings that 1 out of 3 kids born after the year 2000 will develop Diabetes in their lifetime. So everywhere but L.A., our girth is expanding. Maybe the rest of us are all “sympathy eating?” You know, “I’ll bet Terri Hatcher hasn’t eaten in days. I’d better make that TWO pepperoni pizzas.”

    | June 26, 2006 @ 5:10 pm

  8. stephanie said,

    LMAO Stefanie! You never cease to amaze – and make me spit beverages out of my nose :)

    | June 26, 2006 @ 5:15 pm

  9. Stefanie said,

    Andrea, I hope you don’t think I really look like that. It’s called photo shop. That’s my secret weight loss plan.

    | June 26, 2006 @ 6:59 pm

  10. Heather said,

    “Maybe the rest of us are all “sympathy eating?” “

    Teacher Lady – I love it. I now have something to blame my belly on. “Oh, I’m just bigger because Nicole Ritchie lost 10 more pounds. It had to go somewhere, right?”

    Great post!

    | June 26, 2006 @ 10:46 pm

  11. Jenny said,

    Ha! That’s awesome!

    I think posh spice looks kind of nasty though. Could she be in more sinewy?

    | June 26, 2006 @ 11:52 pm

  12. jackt said,

    Which set of cheeks?

    | June 27, 2006 @ 12:19 am

  13. Wendy said,

    omg..peeing….i saw those pics in a magazine and the word that came to mind was ‘skeletor’ –

    the ice cream diet..now that i’m going to have to investigate…

    | June 27, 2006 @ 12:49 am

  14. chris said,

    Last night I had a deeply satisfying intellectual conversation with my husband about why David Beckham married Vitoria. Man, she’s scary looking. Seriously, someone needs to send that woman a porkchop.

    | June 27, 2006 @ 1:13 am

  15. Andrea said,

    I know you photoshopped. I was just looking for an excuse to say I’d eat some ice cream with you.

    | June 27, 2006 @ 1:22 pm

  16. Domestic Chicky said,

    Porkchop~LMAO!

    Throw Posh a whole pig-with stuffing inside-slathered in gravy -with cheese on top.

    That’ll show her…

    | June 27, 2006 @ 3:26 pm

  17. sunshine scribe said,

    I was on a conference call while I read your blog and just sputtered into the phone. Thanks!! Too funny

    | June 27, 2006 @ 7:19 pm

  18. jennster said,

    dude.. your head looks hot 10 times the size of your body.. you can start a new trend. i love la.

    | June 27, 2006 @ 10:02 pm

  19. Izzy said,

    The human-lollipop look, made popular by the very freakish Calista Flockhart, is SO in vogue. Don’t lose the big head. You look fabulous, dahling!

    | June 28, 2006 @ 4:16 pm

  20. Stacy said,

    You don’t want to look like Victoria Beckham! Her nipples look like bullets about to be fired off!

    | June 28, 2006 @ 6:22 pm

  21. Anonymous said,

    Your website has a useful information for beginners like me.
    »

    | July 22, 2006 @ 5:07 pm

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