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Bi-Curious George

I think this would make a good sequel to the Curious George books don’t you guys agree?

CLOSE UP ON AN ANIMATED BOOK COVER WITH A MONKEY IN A PAIR OF LEATHER SHORT SHORTS AND A TIGHT TANK TOP. THE TITLE IS “THE ADVENTURES OF BI-CURIOUS GEORGE”

NARRATOR (V.O.)

This is George. He was a good little monkey and always a little curious.
Over all of the actions we hear voice-over narrations.

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

GEORGE and the MAN WITH THE YELLOW HAT, peer into a cupboard.

NARRATOR
One day George had a hankering for some bananas. But sadly the cupboard was bare.
So George and the man with the yellow hat headed off to the market.

CUT TO:

INT. MARKET – PRODUCE SECTION – DAY
The man with the yellow hat stands next to their shopping cart which is full of bananas.

NARRATOR
“I think we have enough bananas, George,” said the man with the yellow hat.
ANGLE ON: George stroking a banana suggestively.

The man with the yellow hat takes the banana away from George and puts it back in with the other bananas.
An extremely handsome gay male couple decked out in leather walks by.
George jumps from his cart into theirs and they keep going.

NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D)
But when the man with the yellow hat turned back, George was no where to be found. “Now where has that monkey gotten off to?” He wondered.

CUT TO:

EXT. MARKET PARKING LOT – A LITTLE LATER
The man with the yellow hat runs out of the store just in time to see George zoom off on the back of a CONVERTIBLE RED MAZDA MIATA with the license plate “SHO 2NS.”

NARRATOR
The man with the yellow hat called after the naughty monkey but it was too late.

CUT TO:

EXT. CITY STREET – EARLY EVENING
The man drives slowly down the street looking from left the right.

NARRATOR
The man with the yellow hat set out to find George.
The car passes by an outdoor concert with a huge sign that reads “TONIGHT ONLY: ABBA REUNION”

INT. CONCERT – CONTINUOUS
George sits between the leather clad men, swaying to the beat of “Dancing Queen.”

NARRATOR
He searched high…

CUT TO:

EXT. CITY STREET – LATER
The man with the yellow hat walks down the street passing a DAY SPA.

INT. SPA – CONTINUOUS
George and the men lay on tables all wearing mud masks with cucumbers over their eyes. A WOMAN waxes huge strips of fur off of George’s chest.

NARRATOR
And low…

CUT TO:

EXT. CITY STREET – A LITTLE LATER
The man peers into a restaurant while behind him a GAY PRIDE PARADE goes by with George waving from atop the biggest float.

NARRATOR
But George was no where to be found.

CUT TO:

INT. BAR – A FEW MINUTES LATER
The man sits at the bar while a shirtless bartender pours him a drink.

NARRATOR
The man with the yellow hat decided to warm up with a hot drink while he figured out where to look next.

ANGLE ON: Behind him, a tipsy George, wearing nothing except butt-less chaps and a nipple piercing dances around.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
“The city at night is no place for a little monkey he thought,” George must be so very frightened.
George guzzles SHIRAZ straight from the bottle.

CUT TO:
EXT. BAR – LATER
The man with the yellow hat walks down the street away from the bar.

NARRATOR
It was getting very late but the man with the yellow hat refused to give up.

ANGLE ON: The bar door. George stumbles out spins around a few times and passes out with X’s over his eyes.
THE NIGHT SKY TURNS TO MORNING.

CUT TO:

EXT. CITY STREET – MORNING
The man with the yellow hat, looking extremely haggard, stumbles down the sidewalks where he spots the Red Miata parked in front of a church.

NARRATOR
“At last,” the man with the yellow hat thought. George must be in there!

INT CHURCH – MOMENTS LATER
We see the back of a BRIDE AND GROOM facing a PRIEST.

NARRATOR
Stop, yelled the man with the yellow hat.
The bride and groom turn around. It’s George and STAR JONES.

NARRATOR (CONT’D)
He had reached his little friend just in the nick of time.
George, seeing the man with the yellow hat, runs over and jumps into his arms.

EXT. CHURCH – MOMENTS LATER
George and the man with the yellow hat walk with their arms around each other toward the sunrise.

NARRATOR
“You must have had quite an adventure you naughty little monkey,” scolded the man with the yellow hat. “Now let’s go home and you can tell me all about it.”
George drops his hand down and rests it on the man with the yellow hat’s ASS. He turns and winks at the camera.

“THE END.”

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on June 14, 2006 5:31 amUncategorized20 comments  

20 Comments

  1. Jenée said,

    I like how he takes a swig of Shiraz right from the bottle. It’s like the straight and gay parts of him are battling each other.

    Very deep (in a pothead/bored SAHM kinda way).

    | June 14, 2006 @ 9:29 am

  2. IzzyMom said,

    Curious George in buttless chaps, guzzlying Shiraz…rofl

    That naughty, naughty monkey.

    | June 14, 2006 @ 12:56 pm

  3. Lena said,

    Ooooh Stef. This is over the top hilarious.

    You had me at “buttless chaps”.

    | June 14, 2006 @ 4:56 pm

  4. stephanie said,

    ROTFLMFAO!!!

    And Dancing Queen is the best song eva, well maybe except for Waterloo :)

    | June 14, 2006 @ 9:28 pm

  5. nonlineargirl said,

    Excellent – I would definitely buy this book!

    | June 14, 2006 @ 11:31 pm

  6. Mama Kelly said,

    do you hear the drums Fernandoooo

    poor poor confused George

    | June 15, 2006 @ 1:33 am

  7. Neil said,

    Imagine what happens when Bi-Curious George meets Babar the Elephant (now Babara the Elephant).

    | June 15, 2006 @ 2:53 am

  8. Jess Riley said,

    I love how the ending wraps everything up and doesn’t leave us hanging.

    Now, what can you do with Green Eggs and Ham? ;)

    | June 15, 2006 @ 4:17 am

  9. Erin said,

    Oh dear lord, P is obsessed with Curious George books lately, and I just got him a couple of new ones from the library. Now I’m not going to be able to read them with a straight face.

    | June 15, 2006 @ 5:29 pm

  10. KTP said,

    oooh, I am curious about the deleted comments. What were they?

    | June 15, 2006 @ 7:22 pm

  11. Stefanie said,

    Kim, the deleted comments were just comments that went in twice. Nothing fun. I’d never delete anything fun.

    | June 15, 2006 @ 7:29 pm

  12. mommy on the verge said,

    HA HA! Many LOL, that’s hilarous! Star Jones wanted to get monkey-freaky!

    | June 15, 2006 @ 10:18 pm

  13. Neil said,

    Hey, everyone, Stefanie and her book were in the newspaper today! I don’t know if it was just a California thing, but I was a little disappointed that there wasn’t a sexy glamour shot of her, holding a dirty diaper.

    | June 16, 2006 @ 12:10 am

  14. Misfit Hausfrau said,

    Since Baby Girl reads Curious George every damn night, I may slip this story in.

    So was not expecting Star Jones to make an appearance!

    | June 16, 2006 @ 2:24 am

  15. Haley-O said,

    hmph…cheaty little monkey! ;)

    | June 16, 2006 @ 2:38 am

  16. stephanie said,

    It’s only fair that I do this back… consider yourself tagged! :)

    | June 16, 2006 @ 6:20 pm

  17. scarbie doll said,

    OMFG — that is brilliant! I have no words for your hillarity. I think you’re onto something here. Like This Little Piggy Went to Prada for the liberal set.

    | June 16, 2006 @ 6:54 pm

  18. Alexa said,

    This is by far the funniest thing I have read this week. Really.
    Also–go read “Pat the Bunny.” You won’t be sorry. A friend of mine performed it as a sultry jazz number at her high school talent show and was nearly expelled for it. She didn’t change ONE WORD.

    | June 16, 2006 @ 9:06 pm

  19. mothergoosemouse said,

    That was awesome. My husband loves to make up unsavory story lines about the man with the yellow hat, but I don’t think he’s ever targeted George himself.

    George always irritated me – he goes around destroying property out of sheer carelessness, and yet in the end he winds up with a medal instead of jail time. Way to teach personal responsibility, H.A. Rey.

    | June 17, 2006 @ 9:03 pm

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