Hi Everyone who matters in my life, and that mostly includes people who read my blog and satify my need for validation.
To promote Sippy Cups, I was flown to Detroit on Friday night through Sat. and flew home Sat. night. Here’s the fun part: a limo picks you up at your house (and when I say limo, I mean shiny black lincoln towncar, but let’s not quibble), offers you bottled water and plays whatever music you want to hear. Then you get to the airport where you have an e-ticket and proceed through the line to get on the plane. Of course, first you stop at the bookstore to get the latest dirt on Jessica Simpson’s divorce, but you do not under any circumstances buy the issue ’cause it will be read before take-off. Once safely aboard the plane, you commence to scare people in the seat next to you by asking if they’ve fixed the glitches on the plane you’re on. Now that you’re not making any friends, you can relax and read or drink or whatever.
Once in Chicago, I was brought to my hotel room and slept a perfect night with no baby in sight. I called home to make sure things were okay and then went out to TGIF, scarfed down some chicken wings and artichoke dip and came back to my room turned on the TV and immediately fell asleep. I HAVE A BABY FOR CHRIST’S SAKE. I’m sleep deprived.
Early the next morning I wake up to find a schedule of what time the shuttle’s picking us up, etc. I get ready pretty quick and stroll down to the lobby to maybe get there early. I’m thinking: perfume, candles, toys, etc. No such luck. Bad jewelry is what I found there. But me being a comedian I made the best of it. If it was up to them, the authors (it was me, the Mommy Wars Mom Leslie Steiner and a woman who wrote The One Armed Chef. I have to say it was a challenging situation to say the least but what they didn’t know about me is I’ve performed in front of crwowds a hundred times less attentive. Drunk, brutal, otherwise occupied audience. so I worked the crowd and eventually sold around 20 books. Honestly, not a good enough reason to send me to Detroit, but I’ve decided that travel is fun. No babies (that are yours), Much fewer bags, one change of underwear. Nuff said.
So, look for me….what am I talking about? This shit isn’t televised. But I did get a couple of good reviews. If you live in Miss. or somewhere else that I’ll think of when I’m not jet lagged.
Bye (my book)