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Archive for April, 2006

Fear and Loathing of Technology

My blog has a new face. I’m so Hollywood even my blog goes under the knife. But since I’m a “professional blogger” otherwise know as a stay at home mom I’ve decided I needed a new look. I think Blog Divas did an amazing job. I, and I’m not saying this proudly, am very computer illiterate. I think there’s no excuse for not being good with technology so I won’t offer one. I mean, hey, I’m not even blond. I should be able to comprehend simple tasks like storing numbers in my cell phone but somehow I find even the most elementary things to be a Rubik’s cube. My husband probably enables me by doing it for me but I can’t help it. Problem is, if he divorces me, how will I make a phone call or sign up for a paypal account or or or…on the other hand, if he divorces me, he’ll never have clean underwear or a bathroom floor you could picnic on. How old fashioned are we?

Okay, I’m going to work on my fear of technology because I want a Blackberry and I don’t want to be intimidated by all it’s features. I want to be excited by them, salivating that I can play on-line poker, talk on the phone and see my book ranking on Amazon all at once! TECHNOLOGY GEEKDOM THIS IS A WARNING. I’M COMING.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on April 30, 2006 7:32 pmUncategorized20 comments  

Blogging is my friend

First off, I want to thank every blog reader who has bought and read my book. It’s doing really well and the only way I can explain that is because of everyone who reads my rambling thoughts on motherhood and other dysfunctions and thinks they’re worthy of reading my book. The Today Show helped my sales a lot but they’re getting better and how do you explain that except for this blog?

I hate for my blog to be like a diary because that’s some boring shit.

example: I’m going to give you a real page from my old diary:
Nov. 28th, 1978
Today was just another boring day waiting for Jill (my best friend from 6th grade I’d moved away from and was coming for a visit)I’ve been having dream after dream about her. I got new songs from my guitar teacher. Days seem to be getting longer. I’m worried about Hanucka shopping. It seems I’m always worried about something. Bye Bye.

Actually, that’s not so different than how I write now, if I’m being honest. I like it when I read other’s blogs and can take something from it that resonates with my own life or…someone’s blog I can get caught up in that has nothing to do with my life. I find so much comfort in how many of us have anxiety and worry and OCD and “muffin top” and jeans that haven’t fit us since the 90’s and husbands that are working a lot and plants that get no attention and TiVo’s that go on the fritz. But fuck it all, cause I love to blog.

Hang on, refill on my Pinot…

Okay. Today, I want to give a shout out to my babysitter, Andrea. She’s is a fucking rock star. She comes over and doesn’t care that half the time I’m still in my robe and have no intention of going anywhere but to my computer or back to bed. She takes the baby out for fun stuff and Elby LOVES her. And she constantly tells me how much she likes working for me more than the other moms who are crazy. But this is LA. Crazy Moms are more common that parking meters. But more annoying. Also, she’s beautiful but doesn’t doll up to come over or flirt with my husband or talk on her cell phone incessently or drink all our liquor. You can’t ask for much more that that for 13 bucks an hour. YEs, that’s how much we pay out here. No wonder we haven’t bought new sheets in awhile and eat at El Pollo Loco 3 nights a week.

Just found out that in June my SIL and my neice and nephew who I adore are coming to visit from Mass. I’m so excited. Being an aunt is very rewarding and my neice is very cool and appreciates Avril Lavigne almost as much as I do.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on April 28, 2006 2:37 amUncategorized6 comments  

What should I make for dinner tonight?

Did you ever think when you were young and your mom made dinner every night that at some point you would be planning meals and putting shopping lists on the refridgerator with Eduardo’s Tree Trimming magnets? Did you? Huh? Come on, that’s for old farts not young, vibrant women who still gossip on the phone incessently, wear black on their toenails and contemplate wearing glitter! Okay, who am I kidding? I’m not going to be wearing glitter again anytime soon but still…it saddens me that I’m old enough to “meal plan.” If that’s not a sign you’re racing up on 40’s ass I don’t know what is.

Unfortunately, unlike my mother, when I do manage to plan meals, something often comes up and I don’t cook the thing I was sure I was going to cook that happened to involve broccoli so then said broccoli lays sadly in the veggie drawer for a month until someone wonders, “what’s that smell?” That’s when I have to rethink my meal plan and throw some shit out like the chicken that expired as well.

So, I’m getting ready to go to the store and the only thing on my list is wine. That’s just a cry for help. Because of this, I’ve decided to sit my butt down and really think of what I’ll actually make for the rest of the week. But, naturally, blogging comes before FOOD SHOPPING. Let’s not be ridiculous!

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on April 26, 2006 9:55 pmUncategorized28 comments  

WHEREVER YOU ARE…THERE YOU ARE




Today I was having a deep conversation with a friend of mine who’s been with me since my days as a bad, (okay let’s be real: atrocious) waitress. Back then I wished for, longed for with all my heart, a soulmate as corny as that sounds. A soulmate and everything that comes with that. You know, once you meet your soulmate, you have, probably a baby and a house and a life…of course, that’s unrealistic and we all know that now. But it’s about what’s on the other side no matter what we’re doing – no matter how far we’ve come. Why is it so hard to see how much we’ve accomplished and not how far we have to go or to focus on what’s missing?

I’m reminded of the string of men I dated that I clung to like they’d be the one until they did something that irritated me like said the word “yummy” not referring to food or another one who didn’t think Annie Hall is genius. Important stuff. Or else they were perfect but I was “too much.” Too needy, too intense, too demanding. Whatever.

One day, I met the man I was supposed to be with and here we are with a baby, house, great marriage and I have a book published. But what do I do? Do I enjoy everyday and say, “hey, stef, did you ever think you’d have it so good when you could barely make ends meet? When you slept with that guy you thought was IT and he never called you again? Did you ever think you’d have a book published and it would be doing well? Did you ever think you’d have your soulmate (disclaimer – my husband thinks the term soulmate was created as a marketing ploy for people that read Cathy cartoons – but that’s one of the many reasons I love him more than I can put into words) an a child you love more than anything?”

But I’m anxious anyway. How do you explain that? How do you explain that I worry that if my book doesn’t do well enough I’ll have to go back to work full-time and leave my little girl at home with a nanny or at daycare. Not that there’s anything wrong with it and I may do it but…

Why can’t I look at everything I have and be so ecstatic I’m jumping up and down? I’m healthy, my family is healthy blah blah blah. Is everyone like that or just us chronic worriers? Are there people besides born again Christians that are just blissful and thankful everyday?

So just to fight those negative thoughts, here’s my gratitude list for today. And don’t start thinking I”m new agey or a 12 stepper. Y’all know I like my wine.

1. My husband – the most patient, cool, funny, genius, generous to a fault, loyal, compassionate person I know.

2. My daughter. Nuff said.

3. Grey’s Anatomy – why do I love that show so much?

4. Flavored coffee (not sweetened and there’s a big difference)

5. American Idol (soon I’ll hate this show but not quite yet)

6. When I’m at the park with my daughter and my mind is quiet.

7. The song “Wedding Day” by Rosie Thomas.

8. My brother and S-I-L. Seriously, they are the fucking coolest.

9. Lena’s blog. It really makes me laugh.

10. Cookies from Whole Foods that have no sugar cause I can’t have sugar cause I’m an addict. There will never be enough sugar in the world to satiate me.

11. Bad new country songs by people like Keith Urban or Rascall Flats. You’d never think I was that nerdy, I know.

23. Having my brother come over for American Idol.

27. My husband.

28. My friends.

29. Blogging.

30. When people tell me that they love my book. Of course. Duh.

35. My deep belief in Kabbalah and how it keeps me grounded. Okay, I’m fucking with you on that one.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on April 23, 2006 3:26 amUncategorized16 comments  

Head Trip

Yesterday I got one of the worst migraines ever. Of course, being a girl my husband reminded me that this being the worst migraine ever is something he’s heard at least four times. And he has. But this was one of two headaches that landed me in the ER. If you’ve never had the pleasure of a migraine, it feels like someone’s trying to split your head open with a pair of rusty pliers. Actually, I’m making it sound less painful than it is. It hurts like a motherfucker and if I had to feel like that everyday I’d get in contact with Dr. Kevorkian straight away.

Usually Imitrex is my migraine buddy. Sweet Immy takes the pain away and leaves me headache free in about 30 min. Really. I’d love to do a commercial for them because it’s like magic. But if Immy doesn’t work, which like I said has only happened twice since I was prescribed it, I’m in deep shit.

I tried to ride it out but finally I realized I was no match for the pain and had my husband take me to the nearest place that I could legally score some serious pain killers. I have to tell you all, this was a much better experience (even though I was the one in pain) than when I had to take my daughter in. First off, it was a different hospital because I never want to see the faces of the people that tried thirty times to start an IV in my baby…but that’s an earlier blog. Secondly, no waiting on check stand Morphine. I was only in there 5 minutes when they took me to a bed, curtiously turned the lights off and shot me up with Toridol (for migraine sufferers this is a non narcotic anti-inflammatory drug and it really works) then after the doctor, the kind kind doctor, looked me over, I was injected with my morphine and anti neaseau drug so I could stop puking. 10 minutes later, good as new. We were at Quizno’s by lunchtime.

Big shout out to my husband for skipping his whole morning of work to deal with me and my aching head. And a shoutout to my sitter for getting to my house as quickly as possible. Wow, that was a great blog entry. I’m so glad I got to share. But if you’ve never had a migraine you just lost 5 minutes of your day to my blog and if you have had one, well, you are feeling sorry for me right now so it’s worth it.

P.S. If you’ve read my book and liked it at all, please go to Amazon and review it cause it makes me feel really good to see reviews and it makes my publishing company believe people might like it.

Posted by Stefanie Wilder Taylor on April 19, 2006 8:02 pmUncategorized4 comments  


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