Pageant Mommies must die. What portion of their brain makes these women (and the occasional gay uncle) decide that turning a 2 year-old into a walking Amber Alert is a good plan? You’ve seen these 30 pound car wrecks, a blur of baby-safe eyeliner, spray tans and ass-shaping pampers. Did we learn nothing from Jon Benet ? Your baby is not a car ornament. Or a car for that matter. I don’t get it. But then, I don’t get a lot of things even from women that aren’t pageant moms.
There seems to be this strange obsession to have hot children. I was at BabiesRUs the other day and I saw with my own eyes, tube tops for one year olds. What the fuck is this? It’s bad enough that Britney Spears was wearing this crap at 16 but now we’re supposed to put a tube top on a baby that’s 12 months old? I think if I was a baby I’d say “please don’t whore me out! I’m a baby! I don’t even have a sense of my own style yet but if I did I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be WHORE-VILLE” I don’t get the crazy outfits. Maybe I was just not ever a women with the best fashion sense myself but I certainly don’t give a shit if my daughter is wearing clothes that cost five dollars or five hundred dollars.
I pray this is a problem that is limited to Los Angeles and Texas. The obsession for beauty has gone beyond Botoxing for anyone over 25 and infiltrated the babies.
People love to comment on how attrative your baby is out here in Hollywood. “Wow, your baby is really beautiful” takes on a different meaning. It’s Los Angeles for “Does he/she have an agent?” I can’t say it’s suprising but it is irritating. Whatever happened to being happy your baby was healthy? Now we’re obsessed with their looks. No wonder half of our young girl population has an eating disorder.
Having had a bout with bulimia from 16 to 22 I refuse to ever get caught up with what she’s wearing or making her look girlie or dressing her all in pink so people won’t see the overalls and blue onsie and say “what a cute little boy.” IT DOESN’T MATTER. Maybe I’m just bitter. I’d love to put her in an AC/DC onsie but I can’t afford it. They’re $50 bucks at Fred Segall.